


Unholy Shadow

by Lulu_1777



Series: Unholy Shadow [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes and the 21st Century, Bucky Misses Steve, Bucky watches Steve, Bucky's a ghost, M/M, Sad, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Steve's cat Chestnut, Stucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 18:04:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4358969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lulu_1777/pseuds/Lulu_1777
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After DC, Bucky Barnes kills himself believing he’d ended his lovers life. In death, he’s still walking around in the real world, hollow and invisible. Angry that the Grim Reaper sent to take him to heaven finds him to scary to carry home. He accepts his new life, and spends it watching over a man he’d thought to have killed months back. A man he killed himself for, hoping to meet him in the afterlife. So why is it that he’s the only one who can see him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day One, August 1st, 2015, 5:40 A.M.

There was a short laugh that caught Bucky’s attention. 

A rough, slightly worn laugh that made his whole body tense and scramble to look. To gaze upon the blond man sitting on his sofa, a Harry Potter in hand. Though he had no memory of such title, whatever it was, it was making Steve laugh, and that was enough to brighten his whole century. 

Bucky Barnes had killed himself, three months after believing he’d ended his lovers life. Even in death, he remained a shadow, to horrifying for any Grim Reaper to carry. At first. Bucky’s new life as a hollow shell bothered him, and gave him a sense of failure. All he wanted was to meet his love in the afterlife, where they should have ended up years ago. Gone together as they’d promised all those years ago. 

Now, two months after his suicide, Bucky sat in Steve’s living room. Perched in a window sill watching him read, his baggy black shirt and jeans being completely invisible to the blond. He could appear in whatever outfit he’d wished, as long as he’d owned it at some point in time. He often appears dressed in something more casual than what he’d ended it in. Hair short, jeans and shirt baggy. He was always dark, never light colored.

“Shit!” 

Bucky looked up startled. Realizing that he’d been staring off into space again, taking in the quietness of the room around him. Steve was sat upright on the couch, eyes focused at the window Bucky was sitting at. For a moment Bucky began to hope, but the hope only lasted a few seconds longer after he spotted Chestnut, patiently waiting for Steve to cross the room and pick him up.

“Here, come here Chestnut.” Steve called, patting the empty space beside him on the couch. 

Bucky watched in jealousy as the speckled brown cat jumped down from the open window behind him, turning to give him a quiet hello before leaping into Steve’s arms. It purred loudly when the blonds hands began to rub it’s back gently. “And where have you been? I’ve been lonely.” 

Bucky’s heart broke at that, and he gave a loud sigh, fighting the tears that threatened to spill. He remembered the day Steve found him, laying in a pool of his own blood. The knife he used to slit his own throat still gripped tightly in his right hand, and a picture of Steve Hydra had given him gripped loosely in the other. 

Remembering the faces Steve made still haunt him, but the cries of a broken soul are what keep him up at night. Crying silently as he lays upon Steve’s cold couch, unable to actually feel the soft fabric. 

In reality, spirits have never been known to rest—to actually ever feel the need to sleep again. Sadly, that was one of the many things Bucky hated about being a shadow, which is what he called himself. 

He never thought of himself as a ghost or spirit. It seemed to childish for him to think of. 

Steve moved the cat from his lap with a yawn. Closing his book that had laid abandoned on the coffee table in front of him, he stood and let out a louder yawn, stretching slowly. Bucky watched as he flicked off the couch side lamp, removing his grey t-shirt without a second thought. 

He started to head towards his bedroom when Bucky stood quickly, his black boots colliding loudly with the hardwood flooring. He didn’t realize Steve had halted, and almost walked right through him. 

“What was that?” Steve whispered, taking a good look around the room. He moved his right hand behind him, gripping his shield where it laid hidden behind the couch. “Nat?”

Bucky held completely still, his eyes locked with Steve’s that were only meters apart. Searching the room quietly, his right hand gripping his shield tightly. Bucky was almost grateful when Chestnut suddenly walked up to Steve’s legs, purring and meowing as he rubbed up against them. “Hey buddy, you scared me.”

Yes, Bucky was almost grateful. Almost.


	2. Night One, August 1st, 2015, 9:30 P.M.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After DC, Bucky Barnes kills himself believing he’d ended his lovers life. In death, he’s still walking around in the real world, hollow and invisible. Angry that the Grim Reaper sent to take him to heaven finds him to scary to carry home. He accepts his new life, and spends it watching over a man he’d thought to have killed months back. A man he killed himself for, hoping to meet him in the afterlife. So why is it that he’s the only one who can see him.

A black tank top and worn sweat pants. Hair long and curly, reeking of grease and gun powder. It was the image Bucky appeared as when he finally gathered himself, taking time away since the early morning. 

Steve was gone when he came back, having left a list for Nat to feed Chestnut and make herself at home. Bucky new he wouldn’t be back for a while, having to clean up whatever mess Shield had left behind. He’d only witnessed Steve fresh from a mission once, and it wasn’t something he’d wish to recall.

“Why is it that you and the neighbors dog are the only ones that can see me?” Bucky muttered, pulling Chestnut out of his deep slumber on the couch. He glared across the room at Bucky, twiddling his thumbs at the kitchen table, and simply fell back asleep again. 

“I mean, that’s great! I’m glad at least and animal knows I’m here!”

His words looped around the room, replaying back to him in a hushed whisper. If he was still alive and breathing, talking to himself wouldn’t be the option. He’d rather proceed in acting out, kicking and punching whatever he was close to. Living or not. But in this life, even lifting the end of a spoon wore him out. 

“I just hope one day he’ll see me! That one day he’ll look up and see me, watching over him like I always have!” Bucky screamed, swatting and kicking. But all he did was stir dust, remaining cold as he sat in his chair. 

Even sitting took concentration, but luckily that wasn’t the hardest ghost trick he’d had to master. 

 

As time passed, seeming to drag with every passing minute, Bucky’s nerves took a spiral towards disaster. 

It was a certain feeling he got, and it wasn’t a good one. 

Steve, it had to be Steve...

“Stupid, you’re so fucking stupid!” Came a voice, muffled by the front door. It didn’t take her long to pick it and bust through, racing to the couch where she moved Chestnut out of the way. “Hey now, let’s not get mouthy.”

Her laugh was full of sarcasm, and Bucky could tell she was biting down her words. “Whatever. Sam, you can bring him in, it’s safe.”

Bucky stood at that, watching as Sam Wilson helped a bleeding Steve walk over to his couch. Wincing with every step he took. 

“What part of, ‘Steve I’ve got him,’ don’t you understand?”

“Nat, why don’t we leave it be. He took him out, yes it was stupid and he got a little banged up, but he’s still alive. He’s still kicking.”

Natasha glared at him furiously for a few seconds before lowering her jaw, taking Steve’s left hand in hers. “Yeah, well that was still stupid. You bug lug, you knew I had him.” 

Bucky smiled when Steve did, and even though it was short and ended with a grimace, it warmed his heart. “Well, you know me. I’m not Captain America if I don’t screw something up, and I’m definitely not Steve Rogers if I don’t get myself banged up every once in a while.”

Sam and Nat both chuckled at that, but Bucky saw another side of it. He saw the side Steve was covering up, and all it took was a simple change in his expression. For his eyebrows to droop, and his jaw to clench. He was in emotional pain, and only Bucky knew why.

“Hey, why don’t you try and sleep for a while, I’ll make sure Fury knows your back.” Sam whispered, patting Steve’s shoulder as he stood up from his crouch. 

“Yeah, and I’ll make sure he knows how stupid you were. But also how brave.” Natasha started, standing along with Sam where she quickly took a look around. “Thank you Steve, I owe you...again.”

Steve laughed, clutching his chest with a longed wince. Sam and Nat took that as a sign to leave and bided there goodbyes. Slowly walking out of the apartment with worried faces. 

It wasn’t until they were long gone, and Steve was half asleep, that Bucky went on his rampage. 

“Here we go again, Mr. Everything’s my responsibility. You don’t even think, you just act!”

Steve remained silent, still clutching his chest and his breathing started to even out. It made Bucky more frantic. 

“Yeah, sure, you would say ‘I had him on the ropes,’ that’s bullshit Steve and we both know it! You’re gonna end up getting yourself killed one of these days Stevie!”

Bucky was crying by the time Steve’s quiet snores rose in the silent room. He was finally peaceful, and his wounds were almost completely healed. 

It bothered Bucky that he couldn’t throw a blanket over him, or even help him out of restricting uniform. So he walked back over to the window sill, and watched over his best friend as he slept. Just like he had when he was smaller.


End file.
